On Stage

Haunting Jaunts

Death behind every door

Wednesday, October 23, 2013

First dates can be scary as hell. But if you play your cards right, making plans to attend one of the many haunted houses happening this week will likely assure that you get at least a little closer to the object of your affection. After all, getting rushed by a zombie in a dark hallway is as good an excuse as any to hold someone a little closer—just make sure they haven’t morphed into a member of the undead.

I’ve attended the Halloween haunt in Lynden known as the Scream Fair the last two years, and I’m here to tell you that if you don’t elevate your vocal cords at some point during the night—whether it’s in the parking lot after a bloodthirsty flesh eater knocks on your car window or while you’re deep within the confines of the barn where the spooky proceedings take place—there’s something wrong with you. This year’s theme is “Escape from Dead Block,” and it promises to be horrifying. “You are trapped inside a maximum-security prison with the flesh-eating dead,” reads a memo on the group’s website. “There is no escape!” Sounds fun, right? When: 6:30-9:30pm Thurs,. Oct. 24 and Thurs., Oct. 31 and 6:30-10:30pm Oct. 25-26. Where: NW Washington Fairgrounds, Lynden. Cost: $13-$24. More info: http://www.lastchanceproductions.com

Infants and toddlers will want to stay at home when Nightmare at the Spark Museum brings scary science to the forefront at Bellingham’s Spark Museum of Electrical Invention Oct. 25-31. The Frankenstein-inspired electrical shows—which are tailored for Halloween week—include, according to a recent press release, “shocking sounds, spooky fog, sudden bolts of lightening and bizarre electrical antics.” Examples include a “schizoid” talking robot named Franklin, a singing Tesla Coil named Elvis, and a variety of mad scientists who will perform last rites for an evil fellow named Dr. Morbius. Additionally, there will be visits from Benjamin Franklinstein, and, for an extra donation, visitors can step inside the Cage of Death, where they’ll be “swarmed with 4 million volts of raw electricity.” If you’re faint of heart—or have a pacemaker—you’ll probably want to sit that part out. When: 7pm and 9pm Fri.-Sat., Oct. 25-26 and Tues.-Thurs., Oct. 29-31. Where: 1312 Bay St. Cost: $8-$10. More info: http://www.sparkmuseum.org

“Bad Things Happen When You’re Waiting for a Train” is the oh-so-creepy tagline the folks running the Haunted Depot at the Depot Arts Center in Anacortes have concocted for your nocturnal visits. According to their fictitious lore, it’s the 50th anniversary of the crash of the Anacortes Red Line Express, and that means very bad things are about to happen. You see, the “special cargo” one of the train cars carried was full of something(s) quite horrifying, and the frightful beings that have been unleashed are now ready to meet you. The storyline was concocted by Brian Hurst—the guy responsible for the Haunted Hospital in Sedro-Woolley—so chances are you’ll forget it’s all just an act. When: 7-10pm Fri.-Sat., Oct. 25-26 (a kid-themed “Family Haunt” happens from 11am-2pm Sat. Oct. 26). Where: 611 R Ave., Anacortes. Cost: $5. More info: http://www.anacortesfarmersmarket.org

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