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Words

Santa Town

Naughty, nice and beyond

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

I don’t want to alarm anyone, but it appears the ultimate gift-giver, Santa Claus, has been cloned. I saw him in his white-bearded glory last weekend at the Holiday Port Festival—where he was calm and collected while a succession of toddlers tugged fiercely at his beard and squealed in his ears—but sightings have also been reported at various spots around Whatcom and Skagit counties of late. And judging by the growing number of engagements he has this coming weekend in Bellingham, he’s going to be one busy fella.

Saturday, Dec. 14, in particular, is a day Mr. Claus will be spreading the Christmas joy—and not just to the children of the land.

If you’d like to mix getting fed with your holiday cheer, make your way to “Breakfast with Santa” from 8-11am at the Bellingham Senior Center at 315 Halleck St. After or before filling up on pancakes, sausages, scrambled eggs and assorted beverages, kids can pose with Santa and whisper their wishes in his ear. Breakfast isn’t free, but the pics are—just bring your own camera. More info: 733-4030

A sleigh won’t be necessary, but the man of the hour will have to rush (and, once again, clone himself) to make it to across town, where he’ll be on hand from 10am-1pm at Launching Success Learning Store, 133 Prince Ave. Donuts, coffee and pictures will be part of the festive fun and, again, bring your own camera (and donations for Work Opportunities). From 11am-12pm he’ll also be at Village Books, where he’ll be signing copies of Santa is Coming to Bellingham. We’re not sure where he found time to write the site-specific tome, but hey, he’s magic. Expect treats, not coal. More info: http://www.workopportunities.org, www.villagebooks.com

Although it’s not necessarily a kid-sanctioned event, if you happen to be nearby with your young ones when a plethora of Santa Claus agents converge at 3pm at Maritime Heritage Park for the worldwide event known as SantaCon, the suited partygoers have been instructed to “not make children cry.” Further instructions on the website—which lists Claus conventions everywhere from Bethlehem to Bellingham—directs attendees to “dress to maximize merriment, whether singing Christmas carols in the snow, or swinging from a stripper pole in a hot nightclub.” From the park, the festive pub crawl will continue on to various locales downtown, so dress for the weather, and bring plenty of tip money (and treats for kids you might happen to encounter). If you can’t make it to the park, meet at 4pm at the Grand Avenue Ale House, 113 Grand Ave. More info: http://www.santacon.info

If you prefer a serving of sexuality with your seasonal soirees, attend a Bad Santa Christmas Party from 9pm-2am at the Underground, 211 E. Chestnut St. Santa will be joined by his Naughty Ho Ho Hos, and will be happy to have you sit on his lap for free photos (I’m not sure what his scantily clad helpers will be up to at the time). Christmas drink specials, contests for the best Bad Santa, and prizes for the ugliest sweaters will also be part of the merry mix. More info: 306-3178

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