Alan Rhodes

Ranting and Raving

Wednesday, March 6, 2019

I always read the “Rant & Rave” column in the Seattle Times. Being a fellow who is not without opinions, I have plenty of rants and raves myself. Come to think of it, ranting and raving is pretty much my job description here at the paper.

RANT An irresponsible gaggle of dimwits with badges has emerged in our fair state, a small number of sheriffs who think the recently passed initiative banning the sale of assault weapons to people under 21 is unconstitutional. Having reached this decision all on their own, they have decided they aren’t going to enforce the new law.

RAVE Fortunately, our own Whatcom County sheriff Bill Elfo understands his job is indeed to enforce the law rather than interpret the constitution. As I recall, that’s why we have judges.

RANT
Howard Schultz, you are in no way qualified to be president of the United States. The most you could accomplish by running as an independent would be to split the vote, thus aiding and abetting Donald Trump in his quest for a second term.

RAVE Thankfully, Howard’s potential run has been greeted by near universal condemnation from a public that views him as an inexperienced, arrogant, narcissistic billionaire. We already have one of those in the White House and it’s not working out so well.

RANT Anti-tax rabble-rouser Tim Eyman, who is currently being sued by Washington state for allegedly siphoning off initiative campaign money, may have found a new sideline: stealing office furniture. The Lacey Office Depot’s surveillance camera captured Eyman rolling a desk chair out to his car without bothering to pay for it.

RAVE For fun family viewing, the Seattle Times has posted the highly entertaining Office Depot surveillance video of Tim and his chair (http://www.st.news/chairvideo). I like to watch it over and over while listening to the Eagles sing “Desperado.” Even more entertainment was supplied by Eyman’s explanation of the incident. Rolling the chair out to his car and driving off without paying was an “accident.” I can certainly sympathize. I’ll never forget the unpleasant consequences of that accident I had when I was 10 years old and walked out of McNary’s Drugstore with three comic books accidently stuffed under my t-shirt.

RAVE Some great organizations like the Bellingham Home Fund, Habitat for Humanity, the Bellingham Housing Authority, and the Kulshan Community Land Trust are working hard to create affordable housing in the currently unaffordable Bellingham.

RANT More than a few Seattleites have been cashing out of their obscenely expensive houses, moving to Bellingham and driving our prices skyward. Many of these same folks are then commuting back to work in Seattle, clogging I-5 and extending their carbon footprints. Yes, Seattle has been ruined but, please, not us too.

RAVE When Wiley Miller’s syndicated comic strip “Non Sequitur” appeared in America’s Sunday newspapers on Feb. 10, there was a little bonus at the bottom of one panel, a quasi-legible scrawl that read “We fondly say go fuck yourself to Trump.” Thanks, Wiley, for putting a little sparkle in my Sunday morning, even though this might not have been one of your brightest ideas.

RANT One little misstep on Wiley’s part and now the Bellingham Herald has cancelled his strip. Hey, lighten up, Herald. Haven’t you ever made a mistake? In fact, given how bad the paper has gotten, many of us now feel that every issue is a mistake.

RAVE Thanks to the doctors and public health workers who are doing all they can to contain the measles outbreak in Washington state, and to alert people to the importance of vaccines and the seriousness of measles, which can lead to pneumonia, encephalitis, deafness and even death.

RANT As a strong proponent of individual freedom, I fully agree that adults have the right to embrace any religious dogma, pseudo-science, or crackpot conspiracy theory that catches their fancy. But they don’t have the right to endanger the health of their children and other people’s children as well. P.S. Vaccines don’t cause autism, and blood-letting with leeches in order to balance the body’s four humors might be a dubious theory as well.

Maybe you have some local rants and raves of your own. Pass them on to me and I’ll feature a few in an upcoming column. Be sure to include your name and the town in which you live. And always remember those immortal words of Buddy Holly, “Rave On.”

Alan Rhodes can be contacted at mr_cranky@cascadiaweekly.com

Past Columns
The Lilliputian Gazette

November 20, 2019

Election Elucidations

October 15, 2019

Buying Sedro-Woolley

September 4, 2019

Rescued by Rachmaninoff

July 17, 2019

Hurrahs and Harangues

May 8, 2019

Bellingham 2050

February 13, 2019

Looking Backward

January 2, 2019

Joy to the World

December 19, 2018

A Second Spring

October 3, 2018

Dog Days Deliberations

September 12, 2018

Mr. Cranky’s Files

July 11, 2018

Can We Talk?

June 20, 2018

Midnight Musings

May 16, 2018

April Fools

April 4, 2018

Rollo and Me

March 7, 2018

Egregious linguistic offenses

February 14, 2018

Events
Today
Holiday Pet Food Drive

10:00am|Whatcom County

Deck the Old City Hall

12:00pm|Whatcom Museum's Old City Hall

Giving Tree

9:00am|Village Books

Holiday Festival of the Arts

10:00am

Holiday Favorites

12:00pm|Whatcom Museum's Old City Hall

The Naughty List Market and Cabaret

2:00pm|Broadway Hall

Miracle Pop-Up Holiday Cocktail Bar

4:00pm|Swim Club

Songs of Peace with Kulshan Youth Choir

5:30pm|First Congregational Church

Bellwether Premiere Wine Social

5:30pm|Lighthouse Grill

Holiday Party

6:00pm|Camber Coffee

DSA Movie Night

6:00pm|Academic West

Winter Pop-Up with Taylor Shellfish

6:00pm|Aslan Depot

Peaceful Poetry Reading

6:30pm|Village Books

Shrek the Musical

7:00pm|Burlington-Edison High School

Balkan Folk Dancers

7:00pm|Fairhaven Library

Storm Music Extravaganza

7:00pm|Mount Baker Theatre

Treasure Island

7:00pm|Sehome High School Theater

Peace, Love, and Ukuleles

7:00pm|Bellingham Unitarian Fellowship

Avalanche Awareness

7:00pm|Backcountry Essentials

History Holiday

7:30pm|Whatcom Museum's Old City Hall

Good, Bad, Ugly

7:30pm|Upfront Theatre

Crazy for You

7:30pm|Bellingham Theatre Guild

Number the Stars

7:30pm|Anacortes Community Theatre

A Christmas Carol

7:30pm|Sylvia Center for the Arts

Tomorrow
Holiday Pet Food Drive

10:00am|Whatcom County

Deck the Old City Hall

12:00pm|Whatcom Museum's Old City Hall

Giving Tree

9:00am|Village Books

Holiday Festival of the Arts

10:00am

The Naughty List Market and Cabaret

2:00pm|Broadway Hall

Miracle Pop-Up Holiday Cocktail Bar

4:00pm|Swim Club

Treasure Island

7:00pm|Sehome High School Theater

Shrek the Musical

7:00pm|Burlington-Edison High School

Crazy for You

7:30pm|Bellingham Theatre Guild

A Christmas Carol

7:30pm|Sylvia Center for the Arts

Number the Stars

7:30pm|Anacortes Community Theatre

Wild Things

9:30am|Connelly Creek Nature Area

Toys for Tots

10:00am

Pacific Arts Market

10:00am| Sunset Square

Holiday Tea

11:00am|Willowbrook Manor

Holiday Craft Bazaar

3:30pm|Lynden Library

Drayton Harbor Shellebration

4:00pm|G Street Plaza

Gingerbread House Making

4:30pm|Ferndale Library

Christmas on the Docks

5:00pm|Cap Sante Marina

Photos and Stories with James K. Papp

5:00pm|Gallery Pegasus

Wonderland Walk

5:00pm|Washington Park

Valley Made Holiday Market

5:00pm|Maplehurst Farm

Kids Night Out @ Western

6:00pm|Western Washington University

Lost Feast

7:00pm|Village Books

Honk! The Musical

7:00pm|Bellingham Arts Academy for Youth

Darkness and Light

7:30pm|St. James Presbyterian Church

Narnia the Musical

7:30pm|Claire vg Thomas Theatre

Christmastime is Here with Skagit Symphony

7:30pm|McIntyre Hall

Tarnation and Holiday Games

7:30pm|Upfront Theatre

Saturday
Holiday Pet Food Drive

10:00am|Whatcom County

Deck the Old City Hall

12:00pm|Whatcom Museum's Old City Hall

Giving Tree

9:00am|Village Books

Holiday Festival of the Arts

10:00am

Miracle Pop-Up Holiday Cocktail Bar

4:00pm|Swim Club

Shrek the Musical

7:00pm|Burlington-Edison High School

Treasure Island

7:00pm|Sehome High School Theater

Number the Stars

7:30pm|Anacortes Community Theatre

A Christmas Carol

7:30pm|Sylvia Center for the Arts

Crazy for You

7:30pm|Bellingham Theatre Guild

Pacific Arts Market

10:00am| Sunset Square

Toys for Tots

10:00am

Holiday Tea

11:00am|Willowbrook Manor

Christmas on the Docks

5:00pm|Cap Sante Marina

Wonderland Walk

5:00pm|Washington Park

Valley Made Holiday Market

5:00pm|Maplehurst Farm

Honk! The Musical

7:00pm|Bellingham Arts Academy for Youth

Tarnation and Holiday Games

7:30pm|Upfront Theatre

Darkness and Light

7:30pm|St. James Presbyterian Church

Narnia the Musical

7:30pm|Claire vg Thomas Theatre

NSEA Work Party

9:00am

Breakfast with Santa

9:00am|Sedro-Woolley Community Center

Winter Faire

10:00am|Whatcom Hills Waldorf School

Winter Arts & Crafts Festival

10:00am|Pioneer Park Pavilion

Old-Fashioned Christmas Market

10:00am|Friday Harbor Brickworks

Bellingham Farmers Market

10:00am|Depot Market Square

Fairhaven Winterfest

10:00am|Historic Fairhaven

Sumas Book Club

10:00am|Sumas Library

Mastering Wisteria

10:30am|Full Bloom Farm

Award-Winning Book Club

10:30am|Lynden Library

Snow Geese of Skagit

10:30am|Christianson's Nursery

Your Life is a Story Writers Group

10:30am| South Whatcom Library

Saltadena Celebration

11:00am|Saltadena Bakery

Winter Wonderland Gift Gala

11:00am|Carnation Building

Holiday Craft Bazaars

11:30am

Holiday Maker's Market

12:00pm|Terramar Brewing and Distilling

Holiday Joy with Fidalgo Youth Symphony

1:00pm|McIntyre Hall

Holiday Tea and Crafts

1:00pm|North Fork Library

Festive Feasting Reception

1:00pm|Good Earth Pottery

Teen Art Fair

2:00pm|Blaine Library

Big Holiday reds tasting

2:00pm|eifert & Jones Wine Merchants

Shrinking the Worry Monster

2:00pm|Village Books

Birding for Kids

2:30pm

Bowman Bay Holiday

3:00pm|Bowman Bay

Noel Ensemble

3:00pm|Jansen Art Center

A Deep Dive Into Eve Deisher's Psyche

3:00pm|Museum of Northwest Art

One Meditation

4:00pm| Boulevard Park

The Nativity

6:30pm|Mount Baker Theatre

Early Railroads of Whatcom County

7:00pm|Village Books

Contra Dance

7:00pm|Fairhaven Library

Center Into Solstice

7:00pm|Cafe Blue

Holiday History Hi-Jinks

7:00pm|Downtown Bellingham

Winter Solstice Concert with SeaMuse

7:30pm|Firehouse Arts and Events Center

Cidertails with Alexine Langdon

7:30pm|housand Acre Cider House

Heralding Christmas with Skagit Valley Chorale

7:30pm|McIntyre Hall

The Kelley World Tour

7:30pm|Lummi Island Library

see our complete calendar »