Ranting and Raving
Wednesday, March 6, 2019
I always read the “Rant & Rave” column in the Seattle Times. Being a fellow who is not without opinions, I have plenty of rants and raves myself. Come to think of it, ranting and raving is pretty much my job description here at the paper.
RANT An irresponsible gaggle of dimwits with badges has emerged in our fair state, a small number of sheriffs who think the recently passed initiative banning the sale of assault weapons to people under 21 is unconstitutional. Having reached this decision all on their own, they have decided they aren’t going to enforce the new law.
RAVE Fortunately, our own Whatcom County sheriff Bill Elfo understands his job is indeed to enforce the law rather than interpret the constitution. As I recall, that’s why we have judges.
RANT Howard Schultz, you are in no way qualified to be president of the United States. The most you could accomplish by running as an independent would be to split the vote, thus aiding and abetting Donald Trump in his quest for a second term.
RAVE Thankfully, Howard’s potential run has been greeted by near universal condemnation from a public that views him as an inexperienced, arrogant, narcissistic billionaire. We already have one of those in the White House and it’s not working out so well.
RANT Anti-tax rabble-rouser Tim Eyman, who is currently being sued by Washington state for allegedly siphoning off initiative campaign money, may have found a new sideline: stealing office furniture. The Lacey Office Depot’s surveillance camera captured Eyman rolling a desk chair out to his car without bothering to pay for it.
RAVE For fun family viewing, the Seattle Times has posted the highly entertaining Office Depot surveillance video of Tim and his chair (http://www.st.news/chairvideo). I like to watch it over and over while listening to the Eagles sing “Desperado.” Even more entertainment was supplied by Eyman’s explanation of the incident. Rolling the chair out to his car and driving off without paying was an “accident.” I can certainly sympathize. I’ll never forget the unpleasant consequences of that accident I had when I was 10 years old and walked out of McNary’s Drugstore with three comic books accidently stuffed under my t-shirt.
RAVE Some great organizations like the Bellingham Home Fund, Habitat for Humanity, the Bellingham Housing Authority, and the Kulshan Community Land Trust are working hard to create affordable housing in the currently unaffordable Bellingham.
RANT More than a few Seattleites have been cashing out of their obscenely expensive houses, moving to Bellingham and driving our prices skyward. Many of these same folks are then commuting back to work in Seattle, clogging I-5 and extending their carbon footprints. Yes, Seattle has been ruined but, please, not us too.
RAVE When Wiley Miller’s syndicated comic strip “Non Sequitur” appeared in America’s Sunday newspapers on Feb. 10, there was a little bonus at the bottom of one panel, a quasi-legible scrawl that read “We fondly say go fuck yourself to Trump.” Thanks, Wiley, for putting a little sparkle in my Sunday morning, even though this might not have been one of your brightest ideas.
RANT One little misstep on Wiley’s part and now the Bellingham Herald has cancelled his strip. Hey, lighten up, Herald. Haven’t you ever made a mistake? In fact, given how bad the paper has gotten, many of us now feel that every issue is a mistake.
RAVE Thanks to the doctors and public health workers who are doing all they can to contain the measles outbreak in Washington state, and to alert people to the importance of vaccines and the seriousness of measles, which can lead to pneumonia, encephalitis, deafness and even death.
RANT As a strong proponent of individual freedom, I fully agree that adults have the right to embrace any religious dogma, pseudo-science, or crackpot conspiracy theory that catches their fancy. But they don’t have the right to endanger the health of their children and other people’s children as well. P.S. Vaccines don’t cause autism, and blood-letting with leeches in order to balance the body’s four humors might be a dubious theory as well.
Maybe you have some local rants and raves of your own. Pass them on to me and I’ll feature a few in an upcoming column. Be sure to include your name and the town in which you live. And always remember those immortal words of Buddy Holly, “Rave On.”
Alan Rhodes can be contacted at firstname.lastname@example.org