Rumor Has It
Little in the middle
Wednesday, August 28, 2019
I’m watching the MTV Video Music Awards as I write this week’s column, and so far I have learned the following things: 1. No one is having more fun barnstorming stages than Lizzo. Long may she reign. 2. There are three Jonas Brothers, but only two of them sing. The third one plays guitar and lip syncs and wonders why no one makes eye contact with him. 3. Missy Elliott is a queen, yesterday, today, forever.
Oh and something, something, Taylor Swift. Now you don’t need to watch VMAs because I did it for you.
Back to Lizzo, not only did she blaze her way through “Truth Hurts” and “Good as Hell,” but she also did it in front of a giant inflatable ass, providing me with a segue that is such a gift, I’m almost convinced God exists and really has a thing for inflatable body parts.
Because there is only one other artist I can think of who has also been in possession of a giant inflatable ass used for performance purposes: Sir Mix-A-Lot. And it just so happens that the Seattle rapper who likes big butts and evidently also cannot lie is coming back to our neck of the woods, and he’ll bring his show to a different stage than what we’re used to. Instead of performing to what has become his home at the Wild Buffalo, he’ll appear in the Walton Event Center at the Swinomish Casino and Lodge for a Fri., Aug. 30 concert. It appears to be a one-off show for the rapper, his hooptie and his posse on Broadway, and I have long since learned not to question how these things come about. Seeing Sir Mix-A-Lot at the Buff is real great because it’s within walking distance of my house, but anyone who knows me is well aware of the magnetic pull slot machines and buffet meals have over me. All I need is the promise of some “Square Dance Rap” and I’m sold. Tickets to see Sir Mix-A-Lot are still available and can be had via the Swinomish Casino’s website.
Lastly, I feel fairly certain that the lovely folks of Hot Damn Scandal would like me to remind you that they’re playing a Twilight Hour show on Thurs., Aug. 29 at Boundary Bay Brewery. Originally, I thought the purpose of the concert was to celebrate their 10th anniversary as a band. In reality, it’s their 11th anniversary—they marked a decade last year, which is a huge deal in the life of a local band. I hope we all got them something nice to commemorate their big day. If not, feel free to head to the beer garden on Thursday and shower them with gifts. And beer. But probably gifts would be the safest bet.