Rumor Has It

Little in the middle

Wednesday, August 28, 2019

I’m watching the MTV Video Music Awards as I write this week’s column, and so far I have learned the following things: 1. No one is having more fun barnstorming stages than Lizzo. Long may she reign. 2. There are three Jonas Brothers, but only two of them sing. The third one plays guitar and lip syncs and wonders why no one makes eye contact with him. 3. Missy Elliott is a queen, yesterday, today, forever.

Oh and something, something, Taylor Swift. Now you don’t need to watch VMAs because I did it for you.

Back to Lizzo, not only did she blaze her way through “Truth Hurts” and “Good as Hell,” but she also did it in front of a giant inflatable ass, providing me with a segue that is such a gift, I’m almost convinced God exists and really has a thing for inflatable body parts.

Because there is only one other artist I can think of who has also been in possession of a giant inflatable ass used for performance purposes: Sir Mix-A-Lot. And it just so happens that the Seattle rapper who likes big butts and evidently also cannot lie is coming back to our neck of the woods, and he’ll bring his show to a different stage than what we’re used to. Instead of performing to what has become his home at the Wild Buffalo, he’ll appear in the Walton Event Center at the Swinomish Casino and Lodge for a Fri., Aug. 30 concert. It appears to be a one-off show for the rapper, his hooptie and his posse on Broadway, and I have long since learned not to question how these things come about. Seeing Sir Mix-A-Lot at the Buff is real great because it’s within walking distance of my house, but anyone who knows me is well aware of the magnetic pull slot machines and buffet meals have over me. All I need is the promise of some “Square Dance Rap” and I’m sold. Tickets to see Sir Mix-A-Lot are still available and can be had via the Swinomish Casino’s website.

Lastly, I feel fairly certain that the lovely folks of Hot Damn Scandal would like me to remind you that they’re playing a Twilight Hour show on Thurs., Aug. 29 at Boundary Bay Brewery. Originally, I thought the purpose of the concert was to celebrate their 10th anniversary as a band. In reality, it’s their 11th anniversary—they marked a decade last year, which is a huge deal in the life of a local band. I hope we all got them something nice to commemorate their big day. If not, feel free to head to the beer garden on Thursday and shower them with gifts. And beer. But probably gifts would be the safest bet.

Past Columns
COVID Chronicles

May 27, 2020

Pandemic Problems

May 13, 2020

A Bummer Summer

April 29, 2020

The Show Goes On

April 15, 2020

My Pandemic Diary

April 7, 2020

We’re Baaaaack

April 1, 2020

Strange Days

March 25, 2020

Making it through

March 18, 2020

Pandemic Panic

March 11, 2020

You’ve got mail

March 4, 2020

Of bongos and backwards balls

February 26, 2020

Drink it up

February 19, 2020

Apologies in Advance

February 12, 2020

All-Ages Action

February 5, 2020

Music at the Movies

January 29, 2020

Hot in Herre

January 22, 2020

Chicken and egg:

January 15, 2020

Say It Ain’t So:

January 8, 2020

Passages:

January 1, 2020

A necessary update:

December 25, 2019