Rumor Has It

While I was sleeping:

Wednesday, September 4, 2019

Recently, I was scrolling through Facebook as I was falling asleep, even though I know the blue light is bad for me and disturbs my sleep hygiene likely contributing to my chronic insomnia (be quiet, mom). I wasn’t really paying attention to what I was reading, and right about the time I nodded off for a second and dropped the phone on my face, I called it a night.

The next morning when I awoke, I thought I’d dreamed that Flea of the Red Hot Chili Peppers was coming to Bellingham on a book tour and, even weirder, the event was going to take place at Bellingham High School.

Imagine my surprise when, once again scrolling Facebook, I happened on an event page for “Flea in Conversation with Jonathan Evison at Bellingham High.”

The normal reaction would be to understand I’d likely seen the event the night before in my semi-conscious scrolling state and didn’t realize it.

Of course, that makes nowhere near as much sense as the conclusion I jumped to immediately: that I’d manifested Flea and now he was happening.

I do not know why my brain went there first. I am not a Red Hot Chili Peppers fan. I mean, I think Flea did a pretty good job as Needles in Back to the Future Part II, but I do not dream of Californication, and the song “Under the Bridge” kind of makes me want to jump off of one. If I were to become a person who could manifest things at will, I do not believe my will would direct me to manifest Flea.

It seems, then, that Flea is 100 percent man and zero percent manifestation. As such, he really is bringing his book tour to Bellingham High School on Mon., Nov. 18, where Jonathan Evison (acclaimed author of The Revised Fundamentals of Caregiving and West of Here, among other tomes) will query the legendary Red Hot Chili Peppers bassist about his brand-new memoir, Acid for the Children, which is both a colorful book title as well as an item on my Christmas shopping list this year. (Yes, that’s a joke. People are way too smart to let me near their children.)

All jokes aside (OK, some jokes aside), this event is compelling to me beyond its celebrity factor and obvious weirdness. First, Flea wrote the book himself, without relying on a ghostwriter, and it took him five years. Second, Patti Smith wrote the foreword to it, which is about the coolest thing since Patti’s own memoir Just Kids. Lastly, Evison is certainly no slouch in this deal and I imagine his convo with Flea will be lively and entertaining. Tickets are $35-$45 via Eventbrite. Get them while you can. I may never manifest another rock star again. 

Past Columns
COVID Chronicles

May 27, 2020

Pandemic Problems

May 13, 2020

A Bummer Summer

April 29, 2020

The Show Goes On

April 15, 2020

My Pandemic Diary

April 7, 2020

We’re Baaaaack

April 1, 2020

Strange Days

March 25, 2020

Making it through

March 18, 2020

Pandemic Panic

March 11, 2020

You’ve got mail

March 4, 2020

Of bongos and backwards balls

February 26, 2020

Drink it up

February 19, 2020

Apologies in Advance

February 12, 2020

All-Ages Action

February 5, 2020

Music at the Movies

January 29, 2020

Hot in Herre

January 22, 2020

Chicken and egg:

January 15, 2020

Say It Ain’t So:

January 8, 2020

Passages:

January 1, 2020

A necessary update:

December 25, 2019