Getting an edibles education
Wednesday, March 22, 2017
The first time I ate a pot brownie, I was cautioned by the chef to not consume more than one.
“These are strong, and if you’re not used to the body high, it can be overwhelming,” she said, handing over a medium-sized portion of the sweet treat.
I’m glad I listened to my friend. Although I’d started smoking marijuana on a semi-regular basis a couple of years earlier, I’d never introduced it to my digestive system. When the effects kicked in an hour later, I entered a euphoric state of mind where everything—and I mean everything—was supremely hilarious. An hour down the line, I temporarily lost my ability to speak. Thankfully, I could still laugh.
A buddy who hadn’t heeded the warning provided by our hostess wasn’t as lucky. Within a couple of hours of gobbling down two extra-large portions of the baked goods, she was curled in a fetal position in the upstairs bathtub, convinced the rest of the partygoers were “out to get” her. There was talk of calling 911, but she eventually started snoring and the danger passed.
I shared this story with Trove Cannabis “budtender” Allesandra Haley on a recent Sunday when I was in the Samish Way store looking for inspiration. I was at the tail end of a cold, didn’t want smoke in my lungs, and was hoping to find edibles that would put me in the right frame of mind to get to work in the late-winter garden—not glue me to the couch in a stony stupor or leave me babbling in the bathroom.
“With recreational edibles, you know what you’re getting into,” she assured me, pointing out that the legal single-serving portions on everything from cookies to chocolates, lozenges, mints and more don’t exceed 10 milligrams of THC.
After deciding on an $11 trio of Winterlife Cannabis’ “Chipmunk’s Classic” cannabis-infused combo cookies—which included chocolate chip, peanut butter and strawberry jam—and a $5 organic “Lumen” lemon-mint lozenge from Verdelux Chocolates, Haley had a couple of hints.
She suggested I start with one 10 milligram cookie, wait 45 minutes to an hour to see how it made me feel, and ingest another half-cookie (5 milligrams) if needed. She also cautioned that I not share the treats with people who’d never tried pot before, as edibles can have a much different effect on first-timers than they do on seasoned smokers.
“They can be dangerous if you’ve never been high before and don’t know what it feels like,” she explained while ringing up my order.
I’d already done some research, so I knew staying hydrated, eating something beforehand, not mixing the edibles with alcohol and sharing the experience with someone else were other ways to make the experience a safer one.
We’d already had breakfast, so when I pulled into the driveway and found Test Subject #1 already hard at work in the front yard, I handed over the peanut butter cookie from the pack and told him I’d check back soon to see how he was feeling.
Inside, Test Subject #2 (yours truly) inhaled the tasty chocolate chip cookie and went to change into work clothes.
An hour in, I’d started a load of laundry, washed the dishes, made sandwiches to ward off any incipient munchies, moved all the clocks in the house ahead an hour for daylight saving time, scrubbed three toilets, took out the garbage, reorganized the pantry and swept the kitchen.
“My shovel already feels a whole lot lighter,” Test Subject #1 informed me when I eventually went to check on his progress. As he ripped a rogue tree with stubborn roots from the ground, he grinned widely and quipped, “There’s no escaping a body high—and sometimes that’s a good thing.”
Later that afternoon, we split the last cookie and continued with our various projects—something Test Subject #1 stayed with until he was digging in the dark.
Alas, Test Subject #2 never made it to the garden that day. Instead, I cranked John Denver’s Definitive All-Time Greatest Hits—which I realized had about a million lyrics containing the word “high”—and deep-cleaned the rest of the house. (I saved the lozenge for another day, as it wasn’t necessary.)
In conclusion, this test subject would judge the edible experiment a success. I never once lost the ability to speak, but spent many hours under the illusion that spring cleaning was the most fun thing I could’ve spent my Sunday doing.
For more guidelines about rules and regulations concerning edibles, go to the Washington State Liquor and Cannabis Board website at http://www.icb.wa.gov
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